The Platinum Rule

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is known as the Golden Rule.

I just learned of the new rule from Karl Albrecht's "Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success", this is the Platinum Rule, that is an enhancement of the Golden Rule.

It is "Do unto others as others prefer to be done unto." This is in recognition that the taste of people are not the same.

Learn to write and speak in E-Prime

One thing I learned from Karl Albrecht's "Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success" is the need to learn the language of sanity, E-Prime. This means avoiding the use of the following words as much as possible as they lead to mental rigidity, dogmatism, stereotyping.

• all "to-be" forms and combinations
• am
• are and aren't
• is and are
• was and wasn't
• were and weren't
• be
• been

Average sentence length must be no more than 20 words, avoid jargon, and always in active voice (e-prime).

Social intelligence requires speaking with clarity and getting rid of semantic malfunctions such as:

• Opinionitis (Ex. Online gaming is a waste of time)
• All-speak (Ex. All politicians are corrupt)
• Or-speak (Ex. You are pro-chacha or anti-chacha)
• Should-speak (Ex. You should dump that guy and get a new one)
• Dogmatism (Ex. Anybody who voted for that Senator have self-serving agenda)
• Labeling (Ex. The people against charter change are elitist.)
• Sarcasm (Ex. If you used your head, that problem won't be there now)

Antidotes can include:

• Self-reference vs. Opinionitis (Ex. I don't have time for online gaming as much as I want to )
• Limiters and qualifiers vs. All-speak (Ex. Some politicians are corrupt)
• Gray-scale language Or-speak (Ex. There are a lot of ways to look at the charter change issue)
• Offering options and possibilities vs. Should-speak (Ex. You might want to consider other suitors.)
• Limiters and qualifiers vs. Dogmatism (Ex. I don't favor the programs of that Senator.)
• Specifying vs. Labeling (Ex. Some groups doesn't seem to favor charter change.)
• Neutral language vs. Sarcasm (Ex. I can give you some suggestions to that problem if you like.)

The brain can process 500 words per minute but we can only speak in 150 words. There's 350 words per minute dead time that has to be managed. Of course, some of us do fill it up through other tasks like text messaging while talking. Being provocative (setting bold expectations or agenda) or specific (I have 3 points to tell you), can help in keeping the brain of the parties busy.

Nourishing persons in our lives

I just finished reading Karl Albrecht's "Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success" a few days ago. It is one of the best books I've read this year and made me cautious on how I communicate with people.

One of the tasks that Karl Albrecht asked readers to ponder on the most nourishing persons we have in our lives. This includes:

• Most positive (starts with the best side of things)
• Most generous (helpful with no questions asked)
• Most reliable (who will be there for you when you need it)
• Most energetic (vibrant supporter)
• Most enthusiastic (zest for life)
• Most thoughtful (always remembering)
• Kindest (treats people with love and respect)
• Smartest (gives advice, support, guidance)
• Shows the most interest (shows you are important)
• Most fun (hang out without fear of being criticised or judged)
• Funniest (no holds-barred laughter)

This can be just one person or we have several persons in our lives that completes it. Senator Ramon Magsaysay Jr. is definitely one of them.

Toxic behaviors: Social halitosis, flatulence, and dandruff

After reading the 33 Strategies of War and the Art of Seduction, I now find time to read this book which has been in my plastic full of books for quite sometime now, Karl Albrecht's "Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success."

I just finished chapter 1 and here I am blogging about it.

Social halitosis
According to Albrecht, social halitosis is the conversational equivalent of a bad breath where one exhibits inauthentic and inconsiderate behavior. This is much like your friend who is engaged in multi-level marketing and tends to be insensitive, inconsiderate, and keeps on gently harassing you every now and then to join their group. Unfortunately, because of our training to listen politely, most of us don't know how to blew this people away.

I guess that is why salespersons in appliance or grocery stores who are demonstrating a product repetitively, much like a robotic mindless recitation of a scripted message, turns us off.

There is also your friend whom whenever you meet would only want to talk about themselves, their problem, or their travels the whole time. This they do wherever they go or whom they get to talk to. They want their concerns to be the center of discussion.

Social flatulence
There is also social flatulence. You know you are with a person that has this when they exhibit some form of behavior or reaction that only has one intent, to be noticed. They are usually inappropriate with what they say, incosiderate, crude, lack of respect, in short - a "social fart".

Social dandruff
You know that a person has social dandruff when they selfishly impose their interest on others. This is like doing a hair, make-up, or perfume touch up even if your "beauty effects" are spreading to other people. Talking loud on the phone in a public train. People who yell in a public Internet cafe that tends to disturb other renters. Or simply blowing away people just because they have a different political or religious views in life.

Of course, this is not to mention that we have friends who are probably like the Dilbert comic characters whose self-esteem, limited self-insight, adolescent-like sense of humor affects their relationship with people and career growth.

One way or another, most of us had committed one or all of the above toxic behaviors. Albrecht's book aims to teach improvement in one's skills of interaction. The book covers five dimensions or categories of competence such as:

• Situational awareness - ability to read situation and interpret people's behavior
• Presence - one's bearing, patterns, appearance, voice, movement
• Authenticity - social radars that other people pick up
• Clarity - ability to explain, illuminate ideas, articulate views, propose actions that get others to cooperate
• Empathy - connected with another person for positive interaction and cooperation.

More sharing to come, good thing the book author is encouraging it.

Intel Celebrates Independence (2002)

Yesterday, I was at the Rockwell Powerplant Mall to visit the Intel Celebrates Independence mall activity. The event is from August 23 to 25 showcasing the latest notebook computers from Asus, Dell, HP, and IBM running on the Intel Pentium 4-Mobile Processor. The Intel powered laptops are available in full-size to thin-and-light models with speeds of 1.4 GHz to 2.0 GHz.

I remember my first laptop was a Leo computer back in 1996. Then followed by an NEC, Toshiba, and now an IBM i Series. My regular problem with laptops is its disappointing battery life. What caught my attention is that these Intel powered laptops claimed to have this Enhanced Intel® SpeedStep® technology resulting in longer battery life. Well I guess I wouldn't know whether it is true until I get the chance to use it fully. The cheapest Intel Pentium 4 powered laptop is from Asus worth 79,000 pesos. (Darn, I remember paying for my laptop the same amount 3 years ago.)

The mall became a wireless hotspot through the participation of ePLDT Blink, the first publicly deployed wireless high-speed Internet connectivity service. Take your laptop with you and visit their hotspots to get connected. If you don't have a Wi-Fi card, they will lend you for free.

Our Internet lifestyle is getting better everyday. Wireless Internet and affordable Pentium 4 powered laptops, at last! (can't wait to upgrade soon.)