A reflective thinking blog recording lessons learned from influential authors, books, blogs, and events.

Showing posts with label john maxwell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label john maxwell. Show all posts

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Today Impacts Tomorrow's Success

John Maxwell highlighted in his book "Today Matters" how daily things, if not handled properly will impact any success desires we have tomorrow. The following are also misconceptions about success:

  • Success is
    • impossible
    • productivity
    • an event
  • Success comes from
    • luck
    • an opportunity
    • leverage
    • connection
    • recognition
Maxwell argued that success comes from making a decision early and manage it daily. The book Today Matters focuses on the daily dozen that if worked on and checked daily can make everyday a masterpiece and attain the success we desire tomorrow.


This includes checking on our:
  1. Attitude that gives us possibilities
    1. Choosing positive attitude
    2. Change the negative ones
    3. Show gratitude to other people
    4. Express appreciation
    5. Manifest positive attitude

  2. Priorities gives us focus
    1. Determine things that are:
      1. required
      2. better result
      3. great return

  3. Health gives us strength
    1. Know your health situation
    2. Improve your lifestyle for longevity
    3. Follow correct health habits

  4. Family gives us stability
    1. Care for the family and give the priority it deserves
    2. Communicate daily

  5. Thinking gives us an advantage
    1. Develop thinking skills
    2. Interact with thinking people
    3. Practice your thinking

  6. Finances gives us options
    1. Earn substantial enough to make life comfortable
    2. Manage finances to avoid getting into debt and trouble

  7. Faith gives us peace
    1. Deepen our faith - strength and perspective
    2. Live-out our faith. Overcome and prevail on tests.

  8. Relationships gives us fulfillment
    1. Reach out and build relationship
    2. Invest in relationships by adding value and provide support.

  9. Generosity gives us significance
    1. Helping others, through part of what we have, makes our lives more significant.
    2. Plan and do it regularly.

  10. Values gives us direction
    1. Knowing where our values lie, in support of the 12 items listed here, can help support whenever we have to make decisions in our lives and its impact to them.

  11. Growth gives us potential
    1. Developing ourselves to acquire new skills and further develop our potential to attain success goals.
I read this book when I was on my way to Manila from Adelaide last April 24. It is a good read and can help you assess how you live your life today.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Leadership by Example and Servanthood

It is a rare opportunity to see videos of John Maxwell online. When I saw this one, I knew that I couldn't just let it pass.



In this video, Maxwell talked about the new lessons he integrated in his book, 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. He stated that a lot of things we learned were acquired visually. That is why we must practice what we teach and find ways that we can serve others in order to gain leadership.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Celebrating friendship and taking the high road

Continuing my sharing on the book "Winning With People" (and its workbook), one of the best chapters in the book is the discussion about the Celebration Principle. John Maxwell said that 'the true test of friendship is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed."

As we've seen in our lives, success does not mean anything when there's no one who celebrates it with you and shares that joy. Unfortunately, when we have issues or Bob mindset, this will also prevent us from celebrating the success of others. (more so when you are not in good terms)

To keep an open mind, I note the following:

  • Focus on areas where there's an agreement
    I have a friend whom I don't see eye to eye on organizational and financial matters in the past, but I share my friend's passion on starting a business. I chose to retain the friendship and focused on that area where we jive and gradually discuss the difficult ones whenever the need arises.
  • Be happy when others succeed
    Celebrate their success and avoid comparing it to your similar glory.
When our success efforts are belittled, or worst, attacked or criticized or humiliated, it is best to take the high road and set a positive agenda with others, bring out the best in yourself. There's nothing to be gained for fighting back.

There's so much more with "Winning With People" (and its workbook). It is a very useful book in developing one's emotional strength and maturity.

I remember this line from a Denzel Washington movie (where he played a boxer who was put into jail). A kid with his friends helped appeal his case. He saw the boxer's book in a book sale and his friend said, "sometimes a book finds you". This book has indeed found me. The lessons gained will surely change the way I deal with people and there are things that I have to unlearn to fully apply it.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Trusting Bob

Continuing my sharing on the book "Winning With People" (and its workbook), there's a chapter in it that asks if we are Bob or do we have a Bob around us. Bob, in this case, is a person who has a problem with everyone. Bob is either a:

  • problem carrier
  • problem finder
  • problem creator
  • problem receiver
When dealing with Bob of our lives, I learned from John Maxwell that:
  • Respond with a positive comment
    Whenever something negative gets brought to us, listen and point out the positive too.

  • Show concern for someone being criticized
    Whenever motives are critiqued, give the benefit of the doubt. Believe the best in others.

  • Encourage steps towards resolution
    Whenever someone brings a complaint about another person, best to get them to talk. Not doing so and just speculating would be like gossiping.

  • Ask Bob to THINK before speaking
    Is is True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?

  • Keep Bob away from others
    Don't let their negativism spread.
Never let the situation mean more than the relationship
Whenever conflict arises between friends or peers, the first question I ask is do I still want to preserve the relationship with this person. More often than not, I do. Although restoring the trust in the relationship requires work and will take time, but it can be done.

Forgive and trust Bob again
  • Forgive as if you are in the right, you have power over the other person that can't be abused.
  • It should not happen again as forgiving doesn't mean that they can continue to hurt you. This has to be communicated.
  • Treat them according to their best qualities. The only way you can make another person trustworthy is by trusting them.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Dealing with hurting people (that hurt people)

John Maxwell has always played a great role in shaping my attitude in life and towards dealing with people. I finally got the chance to start re-reading the book "Winning With People" (and its workbook). I guess the timing is just right as there are so many things happening at this time and this book has given me much needed reflection.

One insight I learned is that who we are reflects how we see people. A fashionista will likely look at how the person dresses up herself immediately upon meeting her. A trusting person will view others as trustworthy.

Unfortunately, when we realize that those we trusted are not as trustworthy, instead of being disappointed, accept the reality that giving trust will not always entitle you to the same. In time, your intuition will sharpen and immediately know if a person is trustworthy or not even on the first meeting.

Whenever I get attacked by another person, I always try to remember the phrase "Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them." As John Maxwell said, "When hurting people lash out, it is in response to what's happening inside them than what's happening around them. They feel or believe something negative within themselves. The problem is that those people who don't believe in themselves will never succeed, and they will also keep those around them from succeeding".

In dealing with hurting people, I learned from John Maxwell that:

  • Not to take things personally
    As those who tend to hurt people will find offense even where there's none given. For as long as you've done nothing wrong, then believe in oneself and not on what others say about you.

  • Look beyond the person for the problem
    Always remember that hurting people overreact, over-exaggerate, and overprotect. When a person's reaction is out of line or larger than the issue at hand, the response is almost always about something else.

  • Look beyond the situation
    Rise above the emotional turmoil that other people may create.

  • Do not add to their hurt
    Forgive and move on. Be kind and gentle. Although from experience, most of them can't stand this kind of response.
In my next post, I'll reflect on the kind of person we are and those we deal with. Do we lift people up or take people down in our relationships?

Related:

Friday, May 25, 2007

PLAN AHEAD your blog or website

Whenever I hear one of my friends doing well with their blogs, it brings me great joy. Then thinking about it further makes me realize that those who do very well usually have taken a series of steps to attract success.

In the book "21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" by John Maxwell, he talked about the "law of navigation" - leaders charting the course. He encourages readers to PLAN AHEAD to ensure success. Translating this to a blog can refer to:

Predetermine a Course of Action
Using blogs as a tool to grow oneself. In Blogie's case, it is about promoting Davao, its IT sector, and his various advocacies.

Lay out your Goals
Whether that goal is about attaining a certain PageRank, attaining income or stature through it. Make that clear.

Adjust your Priorities
It will be very hard to dream of generating income through your blog if you don't assign a high priority in taking care of it.

Notify Key People
Communicate to those who need to know. This can include people with most influence in the field you are getting in and can help you spread the word on what you are doing. Or simply reach out by interacting with other blogs.


Allow Time for Acceptance
Success doesn't usually happen overnight.

Head into Action
Start doing with what you need to do. If this is a blog, then it can be a series of attention grabbing topics.

Expect Problems
They say it is part of the ripening process that we will encounter stumbling blocks once in awhile. Perhaps not being able to please everyone or getting into a fight or your control panel/server just gave up on you.

Always Point to the Successes
We shouldn't be shy in giving success updates regularly as your community plays an important or contributor to it. Share that happy moment as you thank their support.

Daily Review Your Planning
For the ultimate so-serious blogger, this can be checking of whether you are hitting your goals. Like checking your blog post traffic stats, technorati or ratified rank, mailing list membership, among others.

How about you? Did you PLAN AHEAD your blog or website? Share your story!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Leadership is influence

When the Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs in 2007 came out, I received questions from peers on how do you define that a blog or blogger is influential. I always reply that such is tough to answer and hope to have better insight after August 1. But initially, it is about getting a following or readership base that has high regard for them.

When you read authors like John Maxwell, he says: "Leadership is influence. No more, no less." His favorite proverb is: "He who thinks he leads but has no followers, is only taking a walk."

In the book "21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership," Maxwell explained that the following can't be assumed as leaders.

  • Management
    Managers can maintain direction but can't change it. Leaders can create positive change and move people to that direction because of their influence.
  • Entrepreneurs / Salespeople
    They can persuade people for a moment to buy items but not necessarily hold long-term influence with their customers.
  • Knowledgeable persons or experts
    Having great knowledge (as power) doesn't equate to leadership.
  • Pioneers
    Being the first is not the same as leading.
  • Position
    It is not the position that makes the leader. It is the leader that makes the position.
In the book Developing the Leader Within You, he reminds readers of key insights that includes:
  • Everyone influences someone.
    Realizing your potential as a leader is your responsibility.
  • We never know who or how much we influence.
  • The best investment in the future is a proper influence today.
    What kind of an influencer will you be?
  • Influence is a skill that can be developed.
    Maxwell cited Robert Dilenschneider, author of Power and Influence: Mastering the Art of Persuasion, for sharing the idea of a "power triangle" comprised of communication, recognition, and influence. You start to communicate effectively. This leads to recognition and recognition in turn leads to influence.
That influence is dependent on what level of leadership do you possess. You can be a:
  • Level 1: Position.
    People follow because they have to.
  • Level 2: Permission.
    People follow because they want to.
  • Level 3: Production
    People follow because of what you have done.
  • Level 4: People Development
    People follow because of what you have done for them.
  • Level 5: Personhood
    People follow because of who you are and what you represent.
Hard work is required to gain influence and right to become a leader.

Blogs and the bloggers behind them have done or given something of value (joy, insight, inspiration, worthy cause, among others) that moves readers, at least most of them, to regard them as influential. How long will it last shall depend on how they'll evolve and mature.

Related:

Saturday, November 25, 2006

My Author's Avenue Leatherbound Journal

Yesterday, I catched up with Reggie Bundang of RegaloService.com to get my order, an Author's Avenue leatherbound journal. I know that it is a high-end journal. However, I felt that it is time that I should own a piece a like this and possibly give something like this as a gift to a friend too.

The Author's Avenue leatherbound journal comes in 3 sizes and with 12 colors to choose from. Price ranges from US$9.57 to US$35.00.

I love notebooks but this is the first time that I got myself a journal that doesn't have your usual lines. However, once I started writing, words came out smoothly without being constrained on style and spacing.


In John Maxwell's book, Thinking for a Change, he encourages us to write down our ideas. This will allow us to look back and ponder. I must admit that since I started doing that in my blog, it allowed me to track all the things that I wanted to do and which I usually share with my club members in the Innovation and Ideas Forum. A lot of them have come true so far. :)

I had an old idea that was re-kindled yesterday after having a quick chat with a friend on how I'm doing with my book publishing business. I used to have a plan of publishing a computer book series for grade 1 to 4th year high school. It was shelved due to low penetration of computers in the primary and secondary school.

However, yesterday, the idea was revived once again. This time with improve content and manageable expectations.

At this time, I had to control myself as the ideas started pouring in and have to remind myself of my current workload that has deliverables that needs to be met.

Another funny thing about this experience is that I only knew the existence of this product after Reggie Bundang of RegaloService.com made a presentation in the Women in Web, Wireless, and Outsourcing last Thursday, November 23 organized by the DigitalFilipino.com Club and YOSSN. She shared her journey in online retailing that touches every woman in the audience who are mostly going through her challenges.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

What can I contribute?

In Peter Drucker's "The Effective Executive in Action," he asked that we should focus on outstanding strength - what a person can do uncommonly well. Of course, this capability can only be put into the test or limit by getting demanding and big jobs.

In getting projects or people to join our team, we must ask ourselves - what can I or they contribute? It should be that rather than, can we work together well?

Of course, this line of thinking is highly debatable. Not all of us will agree with Mr. Drucker on that sense.

Earlier today, I got the chancde to buy a copy of Leadership Promises for Every Day by John C. Maxwell. I must say that I'm very happy to stumble upon it. After reading a whole array of his books, I know that the time has come for me to read, listen, and understand what this great author is teaching at the spiritual level.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

My failure is my success

My column at Sun.Star today is "My failure is my success". It is inspired by John Maxwell's book Failing Forward. I hope you'll like it.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

The More You Know, The More You Don't Know

In my past readings of both John Maxwell and Stephen Covey, one phrase that I won't forget is "the more you know, the more you don't know." The year 2005 is a time of awakening for me. I came to realize that as the Internet empowers more individuals to share their knowledge and put their content online, there are a lot of things that one must learn.

Perhaps that is the reason why my website and blogs will have a sudden surge of content and followed by a period of silence. I've decided to listen and read more. Give listening, reading, and processing at least 80% of the time, and spend 20% writing, interacting, and sharing that knowledge. In this manner, my mind shall be able to process multiple sources of information thoroughly, think through in a variety of perspective, then speak out.

The deluge of information, I must say, numbed me from speaking and made me just want to read more. It also amazed me to a greater extent as to how the things that I've read and listened to have affected my actions and decisions lately.

2006 is a very uncertain year. Our country is going through a major political maturity process. Despite politically challenged times, businesses and the Filipino have become resilient, wanting due process to proceed, no longer heeding the calls of those who played a major role as to why we are all in this situation to begin with.

Hang in there my friends. Think big picture and be vigilant at all times.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Thinking Effectively: Six Thinking Hats

While catching up with a good friend lately, I got the chance to buy a copy of Edward De Bono's "Six Thinking Hats."

I'm so happy in finally getting the chance to get a copy of this book. It is a good compliment to books like Blink (by Malcolm Gladwell) and Thinking for a Change (by John Maxwell). However, I consider it more of a wrap-up as reading this alone won't be enough in developing good thinking skills.

In meetings and in communicating with people, face-to-face or e-mail, we usually encounter weird reactions. Some, instead of seeing a communication as a straight request for facts, will see it from a negative point of view, perhaps from prejudices, lack of trust, among others. This usually hampers us from getting things done. That is why there are some who will just vent in frustration, "can't we all just get along?"

No matter how much we try to learn in enhancing our thinking process, we have to go to the next level and set the tone of thinking with our peers too. This coincides with the 8th Habit of Stephen Covey, where one has to take the initiative of sharing knowledge and empower peers to think better and eventually lead effectively.

Misunderstanding and arguments often stems from looking at things in a different point of view concurrently. As a result, one will be very optimistic, the other takes the stand of a devil's advocate, another will just be plain obnoxious for personal reasons, among others. In this set-up, hardly anything gets achieved. Although Stephen Covey's 8th Habit taught us about Ethos, Pathos and Logos and the Think Win-Win concept, it is easier said than done.

The Six Thinking Hats method intends to make us broad-minded and multi-discipline in analyzing a situation being presented to us. In looking at a specific situation, everyone gets asked to wear a particular hat at a time, therefore allowing everyone to discuss thoughts at a specific point of view, where participants are on the same page, looking at the same thing.

For every situation or discussion we encounter, where a resolution must be arrived at the end, it is good to take the following pattern:

  1. The discussion leader wears the Blue Hat. This is the control hat that organizes the thinking needed to explore the subject at hand. Like a conductor of the orchestra, the blue hat thinker calls for the use of other hats. Although peers can also give comments and suggestions in this context as well.

    He or she defines the subject, sets the focus, defines the problems, and shapes the questions. He or she is responsible for summaries, overviews, and conclusions. The blue hat thinker monitors the thinking, stops abusive use of other hats, and insist on map type of thinking.

  2. The meeting or discussion is started by putting facts on the table. The person providing this information wears the White Hat. The white hat thinker is (or strives to be) neutral and objective, much like a computer, when processing and displaying information. No personal interpretation or opinion is provided. However, another person's interpretation or opinion can be mentioned, putting it forward as a fact. Two types of facts are presented by a white hat thinker. The first are the proven, checked or validated facts. The second are believed-to-be facts or likelihood that have not been checked or validated.

  3. It is ideal at the start and before ending a meeting or discussion, or whenever necessary, participants put the Red Hat. This gives the participants the right time and chance to vent their feelings about the subject matter without requiring or voluntary giving any form of justification to explain it. These feelings can vary from strong (fear, dislike, positive euphoria) to subtle emotions (suspicion). It also includes complex judgements type of feelings such as hunch, intuition, sense, taste, aesthetic feeling, and the non-visible justified types. The red hat thinking process allows participants to see if there is a change of perception at the start to end of discussion.

    I believe that wearing the red hat at the proper time, putting it under control, will give all participants greater level of productivity as they had to think through properly and take the necessary self-control of their feelings.

  4. Perhaps the most important hat is the Black Hat, as the thinker is concerned with caution and being careful. The black hat thinker considers risks, dangers, difficulties, obstacles, potential problems, and the downside of a suggestion. He or she checks if the suggestion put on the table fits the organization's past experience, policy, strategy, ethics, values, resources, known facts, and the experience of others.

    Black hat thinking should not be allowed to degenerate into argument. As its being cautious is the basis of a project's survival or success.

  5. If black hat thinking is considered as negative assessment of ideas being presented onto the table, Yellow Hat thinking is positive assessment. The yellow hat thinker probes and explores for value, benefit, logical fit, practicality, dreams, vision, speculation, opportunity seeking, and hopes. It is constructive and generative, resulting to concrete proposals and suggestions (creative new ideas are not included). He or she is concerned in making things happen or operational, effectively.

  6. If red and black hat thinkers are not controlled, green hat thinking hardly prospers. Green hat thinkers are the creative thinkers. The green hat is not only worn by the person presenting the creative output, but the listeners as well. The green hat thinker is in constant search for alternatives. The green hat thinker does not base one's decision on judgement but the movement resulted by an idea, as a provocation. Things that we see online and offline today that are totally or partly new, but very interesting, that caused us to act or adopt, can be seen as an output of those who were never afraid taking things further using the green hat.

The Six Thinking Hats can work in one organization if everyone is familiarize with it and will strictly enforce it during discussion. On a personal level, it also allows us to see beyond what is initially presented to us, triggering us to wear our red or black hat immediately and solely. We have to wear the six thinking hats to see things clearer and better.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Leaders that care

We meet a lot of leaders everyday. However, not all can move us. According to John Maxwell, it's not so much about what our leaders know, how intelligent they are. What matters most is how much they care, about our needs, dreams, and desires.

These are the people who will not consider tampering the environment or ecosystem they are entering in. They will focus on fulfilling what the stakeholders want, tapping the strength of current leaders, rather than what they want to achieve for themselves, disregarding the initial work put in.

This is also the reason why there are leaders who don't carry any official title or position but commands so much respect and following from the communities where they belong or serve. True leaders, despite the absence of any official title or position, can still do great things because of their passion and determination to make a difference.