Friday, May 11, 2012

Dealing with Pride and Humility: 10 Commandments of Common Sense

Sunset in Boracay Station 3 When religion and the Church gets too involved with politics and have views I disagree with, my faith with the establishment got affected. From thereon, I have decided to pursue my spiritual faith on my own with guidance from authors on topics I resonate with. The most recent one was Tenzin Gyatso.

While on my two week break, I got the chance to browse through "The 10 Commandments of Common Sense" by Hal Urban.

The first 5 focus on things that we should avoid as they are bad for us. It is one way or another rooted in with greatest sin of all - pride - which offshoots to all other sins.

Commandment 1. Don't be seduced by popular culture. It prevents you from thinking for yourself.

Hal encourages us to prioritize our time and focus on things that matter the most in our lives.

Commandment #2: Don't fall in love with money and posessions. It will make you greedy and shallow.

This commandment made me think of my recent pressure to "power up" for the sake of image. There is a reasonable level to it. Although if out of control, you can also unnecessary overdo it. And I have.

Commandment #3: Don't use destructive language. It hurts others as well as yourself.
I have learned this long before blogging became popular. That is why when major issues erupted online, I am more calm and understanding of those who go through an anger rage phase.
Here's the dirty thirty that can hurt and offend people.
  1. bragging
  2. swearing
  3. gossip
  4. angry words
  5. lies
  6. hurtful words
  7. judgmental words
  8. poor me - self pity
  9. discouraging remarks
  10. humiliating others
  11. excessive fault finding or criticism
  12. whining
  13. inconsiderate language
  14. teasing
  15. manipulation
  16. insincere compliments
  17. racial slurs
  18. sexist comments
  19. age-related put downs
  20. being negative
  21. threats
  22. arguing
  23. interrupting others
  24. topping someone else's story
  25. know-it-all
  26. sarcasm
  27. screaming
  28. talking down to people
  29. exaggerating
  30. blaming or accusing others
I agree with Hal. In the end, we always have a choice whether to speak or remain silent. Whether to use nourishing or toxic words.

Commandment #4: Don't judge other people. It's better to work on your own faults.

This reminds of me 2 quotes from Tenzin Gyatso -

“To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else.“

"If you find yourself slandering anybody, first imagine that your mouth is filled with excrement. It will break of the habit quickly enough.”

Hal encourages readers to reflect regularly if we have wrongfully judge anyone. And in meeting people, focus on learning rather than judging.

Commandment #5: Don't let anger get out of control. It can wreck relationships and ruin lives.

I find this easier said than done especially when it involves the people you care or and their security or safety is put at risk. If uncontrolled, it can exacerbate into greater proportions. Of all the advice given on how to control this, the one that mattered to me the most is learn to be patient and forgive.

The next 5 focus on things we should do as they are good for us. Hal said that the root of all virtues is humility. It is at the heart of our strength and virtues.

Commandment #6: Keep a positive outlook on life. It's the first step towards joy.

Hal focuses on joy as it is a feeling and attitude that comes from within, deep satisfaction and thankfulness, rather than circumstances.

Commandment #7: Bring out the best in other people. It's better to build up rather than to tear down.

This reminds me of what I learned from John Maxwell on giving triple A treatment: attention, affirmation, and appreciation.

Commandment #8: Have impeccable integrity. It brings peace of mind and a reputation of honor.

Hal encourages us to be honest and live with integrity in what we do in our lives. For most of us, this is always a work in progress.

Commandment #9: Help those in need. It really is better to give than to receive.

Hal reminds readers to give help to the poor and in need. It is not just about money. It can also be sharing your time, knowledge, friendship, among others. I like the idea of giving quietly and cheerfully.

Commandment #10: Do everything in love. It's the only way to find true peace and fulfillment.

Hal said that genuine love is giving, not getting, and it is very hard work. True love is unconditional.

I am glad to learn about Hal Urban and his teachings.