Saturday, September 08, 2007

Celebrating friendship and taking the high road

Continuing my sharing on the book "Winning With People" (and its workbook), one of the best chapters in the book is the discussion about the Celebration Principle. John Maxwell said that 'the true test of friendship is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed."

As we've seen in our lives, success does not mean anything when there's no one who celebrates it with you and shares that joy. Unfortunately, when we have issues or Bob mindset, this will also prevent us from celebrating the success of others. (more so when you are not in good terms)

To keep an open mind, I note the following:
  • Focus on areas where there's an agreement
    I have a friend whom I don't see eye to eye on organizational and financial matters in the past, but I share my friend's passion on starting a business. I chose to retain the friendship and focused on that area where we jive and gradually discuss the difficult ones whenever the need arises.
  • Be happy when others succeed
    Celebrate their success and avoid comparing it to your similar glory.
When our success efforts are belittled, or worst, attacked or criticized or humiliated, it is best to take the high road and set a positive agenda with others, bring out the best in yourself. There's nothing to be gained for fighting back.

There's so much more with "Winning With People" (and its workbook). It is a very useful book in developing one's emotional strength and maturity.

I remember this line from a Denzel Washington movie (where he played a boxer who was put into jail). A kid with his friends helped appeal his case. He saw the boxer's book in a book sale and his friend said, "sometimes a book finds you". This book has indeed found me. The lessons gained will surely change the way I deal with people and there are things that I have to unlearn to fully apply it.