One insight I learned is that who we are reflects how we see people. A fashionista will likely look at how the person dresses up herself immediately upon meeting her. A trusting person will view others as trustworthy.
Unfortunately, when we realize that those we trusted are not as trustworthy, instead of being disappointed, accept the reality that giving trust will not always entitle you to the same. In time, your intuition will sharpen and immediately know if a person is trustworthy or not even on the first meeting.
Whenever I get attacked by another person, I always try to remember the phrase "Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them." As John Maxwell said, "When hurting people lash out, it is in response to what's happening inside them than what's happening around them. They feel or believe something negative within themselves. The problem is that those people who don't believe in themselves will never succeed, and they will also keep those around them from succeeding".
In dealing with hurting people, I learned from John Maxwell that:
- Not to take things personally
As those who tend to hurt people will find offense even where there's none given. For as long as you've done nothing wrong, then believe in oneself and not on what others say about you.
- Look beyond the person for the problem
Always remember that hurting people overreact, over-exaggerate, and overprotect. When a person's reaction is out of line or larger than the issue at hand, the response is almost always about something else.
- Look beyond the situation
Rise above the emotional turmoil that other people may create.
- Do not add to their hurt
Forgive and move on. Be kind and gentle. Although from experience, most of them can't stand this kind of response.